Purification of the Nafs is the greatest jihad. We all work so hard in our lives for ourselves and our families, thinking Insha’Allah one day we shall enter paradise. However there is one thing that can stop us from entering this dream destination.

Self-conceit

The greatest example of self-conceit in art is perhaps Narcissus. Narcissus was a very handsome Greek boy, one day he saw his own reflection in water and fell in love with it, not realizing it was merely a reflection. Unable to leave the beauty of this reflection, Narcissus eventually drowned in it. Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio, one of the masters of baroque painting explored this subject in the following artwork, which is very famous among the art circles it depicts a man’s fixation with oneself and one’s physical appearance. Caravaggio expressed through his painting a realistic observation of the human state, both physical and emotional. The influential Bernard Berenson once said “With the exception of Michelangelo, no other Italian painter exercised such a great an influence as Caravaggio”

Self-conceit is the excessive love or admiration of oneself, this behavior leads a person to constantly and actively seek fame and praise of people. One must remember that vanity and self-conceit are often caused when one is favored by God with many blessings such as beauty, knowledge, faith, piety, courage, an honorable ancestry, wealth, physical strength or other physically pleasing attributes, a high position in society or career, and/or above average intelligence.

Many quote the Prophet Muhammed (P.B.U.H), who warned about the same characteristic.

“لو لم تذنبوا لخشيت عليكم ما هو أكبر من ذلك, العجب العجب.”

“Even if you do not commit any sins, I fear that you may fall into something which is worse: Conceit! Conceit!”

A healthy amount of narcissism is necessary and builds self-confidence. A self-conceited person seeks admiration, and praise thinking they are above others.
This is infact one of the Satanic qualities which can be narrated with the incidence of Satan who was the most knowledgable of all creations and refused to bow to another creation (Adam), because it was made of clay, which in his view was an inferior material. Likewise, many people who fall into the trap of self-conceit start off as very devout worshippers, scholars, and seekers of truth and knowledge.

According to Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazzali. No one is safe from pride and self-conceit, particularly the above categories of people. Therefore it is incumbent upon the one who is afflicted by it to rid himself of it. (Ghazzali, Abu Hamid, Ihya ‘Ulum al-Din, Beirut, Dar al-Ma’rifa, 2004)

The observable by-products of self-conceit are arrogance, negligence of one’s faults, absence of gratitude for Allah’s blessings, failure to have a self-auditory reflex, resulting in ignorance, proclaiming incorrect and unfounded opinions as facts and truth.

One way to cure this spiritual disorder is to turn towards God and realize upon how great his power is, in contrast with the insignificant creatures that are by-products of God’s greatness. When a person gets to know their humble beginning as a drop of sperm, and a certain guaranteed end as a handful of dust, they realize that life is just a brief interval, in which they are prone to disease, and driven by desires, lust, and at times ignorance.

Perish man! How unthankful he is! Of what did He create him? Of a sperm drop. He created him, and proportioned him, then the way eased for him, then makes him to die, and buries him; then, when He wills, He raises him. (80:17-22)

A healthy amount of narcissism leads to modesty and humility. Meaning humility is the middle ground between ‘Excessive Narcissism’ and ‘Healthy Narcissism’

….Thus does Allah seal every proud, arrogant heart. (40:35)
I shall turn away from My Revelations those who magnify themselves …. (7:146)

Thus God promises us in the Quran, that those who “Magnify themselves” will be led astray.

“لا يدخل الجنة من كان في قلبه مثقال حبة من خردل من كبر.”

“One who has even a particle of pride in his heart, shall not enter paradise.”

There are somethings an individual can do to get himself rid of ‘Ujb.’ They can associate with the poor and weak, by being friendly to them and show courtesy to them. Minimize from excessive dressing, put on simpler clothing, to build bridges with the poor and the rich alike. Pass “Salaam” by greeting everyone regardless of their age, and also by abstaining from seeking a seat of high honor at public gatherings.

The Devil says, `If I subdue the son of Adam in three things, I do not care whatever he may do (from then on), as his good deeds will not be accepted (Meaning Satanic objectives will be fulfilled):

(1) When he overestimates his good deeds,

(2) When he is forgetful about his sins, and

(3) When ‘Ujb’ permeates him.

The prayers of Prophets that lived before us, bear a living testimony to the confessions of in this regard. They were aware that even if they spent their whole lives, they would not be able to thank God for the favors bestowed upon them, they were always worried and concerned if they were thankful enough or not. When offering our prayers, and saying al-hamdulillah (all praise is for God) we should teach our hearts that all the capabilities and qualities wer posses and all the good that you have done so far have no equal to the greatness of God. And it is God who deserves the real praise. Every good deed, calamity, talent, and opportunity or missed opportunity is attained due to the blessings and grace of God, the most powerful and best decision-maker. God does not make mistakes.

May Allah guide us all to the truth, InshAllah, and protect us all from evil whispers of Satan.