This last week of my life has been particularly difficult in many ways that are quite indescribable, and very painful. I lost my dear mother, it is a very difficult part of my life that i am going through. And as always, what i value, i write about. Nobody in the world wants their parents to outlive them. The thought of a parent having to bury their own child is more awful to me than a child to bury their parent. As my father, elder brother and I buried my mother at the cemetery of King Khaled Grand Mosque. It was a very emotionally heavy moment.

My mother suffered from ARDS before she died, which resulted in multiple organ failure starting from her Lungs, Kidneys, then ultimately Heart Failure. But her passing away in a deep chemically induced coma made things easier for me, finally her pain ended, she went on to the next world. Immediately, after my mother died right in front of my eyes, i felt this deep sharpful pain, sort of like a piece of glass breaking inside my chest. I plunged into the sharp, painful nostalgia that accompanies the recollections of childhood, everything that my mother represented in terms of security, familiarity, and protection went away. I had a feeling that I possibly took my mother for granted. To one degree or another, I grappled with the realization that no one knows you in the exact same way as your mother or father.

May Allah make my mother pass successfully in all the stages of the life after death. Amin ya Rabbul Alameen. Our Prophet Mohammad (PBUH). Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said ‘It is Allah’s that takes and it is He that gives, and He prescribes a certain destiny for every matter.’

As my mother was slowly deteriorating in health at the ICU of King Saud Medical Center. I was intellectually and emotionally engaged cross-checking every single aspect that i could grasp medically with doctors in my family and social circle to make sure nothing medically went over-looked, i would not be able live my life with the regret that i didn’t do what i was potentially capable of doing to save her.

The Senior Consultant of the ICU of King Saud Medical Center explained to me that the medical condition that my mother was in, has a very high mortality rate and much higher especially in people over 50. I will miss my mother at my side who loved all of our siblings with such constance and profundity. She told us all how much she adored us all, and wanted to die without being a burden on others.

Death itself is a matter of belief not just for the spiritual but even for the intellectuals and game changers.

“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me – Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful – that’s what matters to me.”- Steve Jobs